Triathlon Esprit Montreal 2008

Take one guy who can float in water, can bike and barely run. Train him for about 8 months and there you go. That's me. 20 pounds lighter. And getting ready for a triathlon...

It's kind of hard to believe that at the beginning of the year I was only thinking about it. That it was a project that might eventually happen.

Officially, this is my first triathlon. Unofficially, it's my second. About 3 weeks ago, I decided to try one before actually getting to the real one. I wanted to know what it was like. Impressive what you can learn, or relearn, about yourself in 1 hour and 42 minutes. I'm not a quitter. Overwhelmed by my first open water swim, I panicked but I didn't give up. I went from plan A (crawl), to plan B (brest stroke), to last resort (side stroke). I didn't give up. Oh i thought about it, but didn't call for help.

Now 3 weeks later, I'm again in open water and yes I panicked. But not once did I think I would give up. I swam my 750 meters. Got on my bike for the 20 kilometers ride, then ran the 5 kilometers. And you know what, I enjoyed it. True happiness without bells and whistles. Just me, the road, the goal. 1 hour and 26 minutes.

I can't wait to do it again.

Size does matter

About 3 weeks ago I went cycling with a friend. Not really a leisure ride, more like training. On the way back to our starting point. Blowout. I saw my back wheel deflate under my weight. It didn't have a chance. Sidenote: As a kid I must have rode my bicycle 25 000 km in dirt, rocks and glass shards without ever, EVER, blowing out a tire. This is my first.

So, in the middle of nowhere, (seriously nowhere. the bikepath goes thru a field) we decided to change the tube. Fortunately my friend had a spare tube and a little CO2-instant-air-tube-inflator thingy. We change the tube, get ready to inflate it, we don't know how to really work the cartridge of CO2 and... we blow it. Not the tube, but the whole changing the tire thing. All the CO2 escapes from the cartridge without going in the tire. Bummer.

So what did I learn from this? Always have a spare tube and a pump. Costly mistake? No, but a good lesson.

Ok, but what about this "size does matter" thing? Patience grasshopper.

I don't wait, and the next day I pass by my favorite bike shop and buy 2 tubes 700c 23, just in case. I bring a spare tube on every ride I go. I feel secure, knowing that if something happens, I'll be able to face the music and change the tube myself. I'll be like Scotty on the Enterprise. Everything is perfect.

Yesterday, I decided that I would ride to work. Leave the car home-Do me some good-Save the planet type of thing. 50 km roundtrip. Nothing I can't handle. I bike the 25km in. No problem. I kept a 29 km per hour average. Nice smooth ride. Half way coming back... You guess it. Blowout.

At this point I was like: COME ON! You have to be kidding me.
But also I was thinking: Good thing I'm ready.

So like a mad doctor doing open heart surgery, I started disassembling my bicycle. I remove my back wheel. Yes the same one. Take out the punctured tube with 2 holes in it. It was really dead. Sorry, nurse, we couldn't save that one! Take my new tube out and putting the new tube on the wheel I noticed that the valve was not long enough. NOT LONG ENOUGH. It was barely poking thru the rim. SIGH!

Good thing is; I've learned something new. Yes another lesson. You need the right equipment that will fit the hole and clearly do the job. Otherwise, you'll be very disappointed and might be left hanging on the side of the road with a, too short, deflated tube in your hand...

<- Bad valve Good valve ->

Yes guys, size does matter!

Ouate De Phoque (yes as in WTF)

Wow a lot happened in the last 2 months. No no, I didn't buy a house. Yes I'm still with my girlfriend. No I'm not about to be a daddy yet.

Still just a lot of things. Feeling better. Much better....

So things are changing. Others, I’m afraid, never will.

Not are "they" only eating my garbage, garbage bin, garbage lid, my BBQ handle which I replaced by a whole new BBQ entirely made out of metal. (see A.S.L post 1 to 6) Now they are using the BBQ cover as a tent to protect themselves from the wind. They undid the seams of the BBQ cover with their little freaky paws so that they could get in and out without problem.

What's next? Oh god, I don't want to know. I can already imagine them rosting peanuts over the BBQ, sitting in a semi-circle in their mini lazyboy sofas, watching Caddyshack and The Chimpmunks in a perpetual loop, blasting squirrel music.... Now I know why they call it going "nuts".

Mad Eye Moody Me

Reading back my blog I have to conclude that I've been in a pissed off mood this past year. Every little thing was getting on my nerves.

Is this what becoming a grumpy old man starts with? I hope not. I have a lot to look forward to. It would suck to feel bad and not enjoy every second of it.

No Deal Or No Deal - Conclusion

(Conclusion from yesterdays posting)

No, what really pisses me off, is that there's no way you could explain to these 2 million people what faces all of us socially, politically and environmentally...

A friend said it best: Panem et circensens. Bread and Games. Du Pain et des Jeux.

No Deal or No Deal

Driving to work this morning, I heard that over 2 million people had watched "Le Banquier" last night. "Le Banquier" is the Quebec French version of "Deal Or No Deal". Now you have to understand that the population of French speaking province of Quebec is around 7 million people. Out of that probably 5 million who are French speaking and can actually watch TV on a Monday evening.

That would mean that 40% of the population of Quebec watched that show. I have a freaking hard time believing it, because if it is true: A) it is a whole lot of people watching the same freaking show. And B) what a bunch of idiots we are as a "distinct society".

Maybe you have to understand the game show a little to see how moronic it is.

Here is what the show describes the game:
"Deal or No Deal" is an exhilarating hit game show where contestants play and deal for a top prize of $1 million in a high-energy contest of nerves, instincts and raw intuition.
Each night, the game of odds and chance unfolds when a contestant is confronted with 26 sealed briefcases full of varying amounts of cash - ranging from a measly penny to $1 million. Without knowing the amount in each briefcase, the contestant picks one -- his to keep, if he chooses - until its unsealing at game's end.
The risk element kicks in when the player must then instinctively eliminate the remaining 25 cases - which are opened and the amount of cash inside revealed. The pressure mounts as in each round, after a pre-determined number of cases are opened, the participant is tempted by a mysterious entity known only as "the Banker" to accept an offer of cash in exchange for what might be contained in the contestant's chosen briefcase - prompting the host to ask the all-important question - Deal or No Deal?
As each case is opened, the likelihood of the player having a valuable cash amount in his or her own case decreases or increases. Viewers will see if, truly, fortune favors the bold. The contestant knows that as long as the larger cash prizes haven't been opened, the Banker's deals will only get higher. And if the conflicted contestant accidentally opens a case with a bigger cash value - the Banker's offer could suddenly evaporate.

Basically it's a show about people who think they can defy the odds and do better than everybody else. I guess I can understand people playing it. It's a little like playing Black Jack. But people watching it???

Now all this is based on... nothing. It is pure chance.

The only way for you to win the huge amount is to be brain-dead and believe that you are the luckiest S.O.B on earth and that out of 25 hidden amounts, you, being blessed and uplifted by your family, picked the jackpot. Odds of picking the jackpot: 4%. Odds of being brain-dead: 100%. Why?

Because if there's your briefcase and only 1 other briefcase not opened, and by chance one of these holds the 1 000 000$ and the other a smaller amount, lets say 50 000$ AND that the banker offers you 450 000$ not to open any more briefcase and for you to walk away... WHO IS STUPID ENOUGH NOT TO TAKE THE MONEY OFFERED BY THE BANKER? Answer: 100% brain-dead person, that's who.

The worst part of this is: The game only works if you are "poor" and you have "dreams".

And that, to me, sucks ass big time.

Spirit in the sky, part 2

Cranking up stupidity to 11...

There's a man in Boston who is taking his ex-employer to court because he says he was fired for his beliefs in the bible and creationism. Thing is, the guy is a biologist. (article here)

Now my question is this: How the f*ck did he manage to go thru university and become a biologist if he didn't believe in it?

I mean it's quite alright to have beliefs. If that is your thing, good for you. But isn't that like being an aeronautical engineer designing new planes, but believing that planes fly by magic and not because of the physical properties of a wing?

What's the point of being a biologist if you don't accept one of the main theory in your field? (Notice, I said theory and not fact)

I fail to see it. If you believe that god created every living beings and that evolution is not part of it, why would you want to study it? Aren't we studying things that are not understood? Things we are questionning in life... Isn't studying biology when you believe in creationism a bit like questioning god?

I'm pro evolution. To me it just makes more sense than believing in a 6000 year old universe. But if I was a believer, i wouldn't become a biologist. Just like I don't believe, hence I wouldn't be a priest...

Spirit in the sky

The world is crazy. I'm convinced of it.

It would seem that American voters base their votes for who's going to be president on questions of faith. As explained here (link in French)

Forget if the man, or woman, is competent... No matter if that person has good ideas on how to get the country out of trouble, out of Iraq, create jobs, help the poor or make sure children eat and get a good education.

All of that is not important, it seems. What is? Does this person believe in (replace with name of whatever deity, divinity, supernatural being, ladybug, special crystal or unicorn you want)?

WTF???

Would anyone consider hiring an engineer to build a bridge based on the faith of the said engineer? It doesn't make any sense what so ever. Yet somehow it's important when it comes to being a president? And that country is the most powerful country in the world? Anybody see anything wrong here? I do. The sad part is, that it doesn't only happen in the USA, but all over the world.

Prepare yourself, you know it's a must
Gotta have a friend in Jesus (clap your hands)
So you know that when you die
He's gonna recommend you to the Spirit in the sky

Crazy bastards...

RCS

Question of the day: Is there something worst than a Rice Crispy Square with not enough Marshmellow in it?

They make them at the cafeteria of my workplace. An all dry RCS is bad. Period. As if the cook that made them thought that by putting less Marshmellow, they'd become low fat.

Look if I wanted a low fat snack, I wouldn't not have picked the Rice Crispy Square!

My 2 cents...

... or because at one point, I had to jump in.

For about a year now, people in Quebec (the province) have been talking, debating, fighting about "les accomodements raisonnables". Something you could translate into "Reasonable accommodations or adjustments".

For you all, that might be reading this outside Quebec; you may not know what this is all about. If you live in Quebec and you don't know what this is about, you were living in a cave and hibernating.

So, what's this about? It's about, how should the majority of people, accommodate a minority with a different way of living, than the majority. Example: Should a kid, at school, be allowed to carry the Kirpan (is a ceremonial sword or dagger worn by all baptized Sikhs)? One can see that carrying a sword or a dagger at school might be dangerous. What if the kid uses this Kirpan on another kid? On the other hand, once one knows what the Kirpan represent, one can feel more at ease with the idea of the Kirpan. (See link) Either ways, since the majority of people of Quebec aren’t Sikh or don't carry swords or daggers around, allowing a minority to do so could be called a reasonable accommodation.

Now this debate about accommodations has gotten out of hands. Why? In my opinion because Quebecers are a minority themselves within Canada and North America, we are afraid to lose our identity, what makes us different than the rest, by giving into what other minorities might ask. I'm not saying that all minorities demands should be accommodate, just that minorities demands freak Quebecers out because the minority that Quebec represent is ill defined.

A big provincial commission has been sent out there to collect information about should we allow, or not, reasonable accommodations to minorities. Everybody and their uncles can go before that commission and let the government know what they think about the subject.

What a freaking waste of time and money. Why? Because all I hear from this commision is not about the accommodations or not, but stuff like: Men and Women are equals under the law. People should practice their religion in private. People cannot be stoned to death. Things that are covered in the Canadian Chart of Rights and Liberties. Nothing to go write your mother about.

People of Quebec need to be reassured that their status is protected and they won't disappear tomorrow. As I said, a waste of time and money. Quebecers, and Quebec, will continue to grow and change and sometimes adapt to the wind of time. 100 years ago, most Quebecers would have gone crazy, bringing out pitch and forks, if a man and a woman of their community would have been living together without being married. Now days, it's the norm and no one makes a big fuss about it all.

But what is the status of Quebec? What makes a Quebecer different from the rest of North America? The current leader of the Parti Quebecois thinks that it's the fact that we speak French. Not only that, but she also puts forward that to be a good Quebecers one has to speak French. And she wants to make it a law! That is being VERY narrowed minded. Does it mean that if tomorrow, we all spoke French, but became communists, belligerent and a pedophile nation, that we'd still be Quebecers living in Quebec? No. Being Quebecer is more than just a language. It's only the visible part of what makes us different. It should definitely not be the base of what makes a good citizen of a province.

What makes us different, in my opinion, is the way we think. We are mostly liberal in our way of thinking. I'm not saying that we all adhere to the Liberal Parti, just that most of us are open to new ideas and people. That is worth protecting above all else. That more than the language should be thought to new immigrants. And it's exactly the opposite of what the commission is doing, or what the leader of the Parti Quebecois is proposing.

We are all different. All of us. All of us should be able to live, and let others live as they wish to live without imposing to others, (to the majority since we are all minorities) and others imposing to us, their set of beliefs or way of life. Whatever that belief is... may it be a certain God, being a vegetarian or a nudist.

Live and let live.

Oh Celine...

I was watching the news yesterday and they announced that Celine Dion had to cancel a couple of show because of gastroenteritis...
They must have spent more than 30 seconds on this. It made me wonder...

1) Why is this news? I mean seriously is it that important that some artist cancels a few shows. Ok she's the little pop diva of Quebec, but the shows are in Vegas, not Montreal or Quebec City. Why is that important for local news?

and 2) Did I really want to know that Celine was puking and had diarrhea. How's that going to be of any use to me?

and finally 3) You have monks in Myanmar who are getting killed for wanting some democracy and openness and there's almost nothing about it in the news.

People of Myanmar, if you want some democracy so you'll be able to get this type of news from your favorite TV station, it's not worth dying for.

I'm ashamed we get stupid news like that. What's next? 3 weeks of news on Britney Spears losing her kids to her ex husband? DOH!

Kidnapping...

or when you think it only happens to other people.

My oldest friend's sister got kidnapped about 2 weeks ago. I've known that family for more than 25 years and they are very dear to me.

So when my friend called me saying that her baby sister (32 years old) had been kidnapped. I was speechless. What do you say? What can you say? I told her that everything would be alright, that things would turn out ok. In the back of my mind there was a nagging "but what if it doesn't", that I tried to push away everytime it would come around.

I went to their family house, on the request on my friend. I felt a little out of place, with cousins and uncles-aunts there, but I could see that my presence was good for my friend. On purpose I talked about other things then what was actually happening. I felt that it was the best thing I could do for her. She looked drained, tired of talking about the kidnapping over and over again. Her parents even more tired, looking like ghosts of themselves from the lack of sleep. At one point her dad put his hand on my sholder, gave me a squeeze and a sad smile, as if to say: Thank you for being here.

It was the least I could do.

She was found alive and well, last Monday evening. She's one of the lucky ones... The police are still looking for a little girl that disappeared or was kidnapped a month ago. Another family who are surely worried about their little girl's fate...

Crazy stuff, that is suppose to only happen in the movies. Unfortunatly, it doesn't.

I'm just glad my friend's sister is back.

Where have the real punks go?

Vans Warped Tour stopped by Parc Jean-Drapeau in Montreal on August 12. The day was extremely hot, windy and dusty. Especially over the pits... :)

I was there for 2 reasons.
A- Flogging Molly, which was awesome. I was also pleased to discover a ska-punk band named: Big D and the Kids Table. Great music with a good message.
AND
B- as a day out with my girlfriend and my brother in law. For lets face it, I was about twice as old as the average age of the kids attending the shows. Yeah most of them could have been my kids. Ouch.

Anyway... to the point of this blog.
As I said, most of the kids there were about 18 years old (average). Not much more. It saddened me to see most of them litter the place with hot-dog wrappers, trays and plastic beer cups.

And it got me thinking: Is this what we are leaving our society to? Are these kids our future? Am I to rely on them to keep the work that was started by my generation to try to clean up the mess of the babyboomers? If so, what's the point?

Furthermore, are those kids really the future of punk? To me the punk movement always was made of people who were especially enlightened about what was going on in the world. Granted, sometimes protesting violently about it, but ready to fight for something.

Where is the fighting in littering?

I dunno. I was just sad for the punk movement and the future.

Nike+IPod

It had been way too long... and I do mean waaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy too long since I ran a 5km. I'm finally there again. With the help of a little gizmo called the Nike+IPod.

It's basically something you attach to your IPod (nano) and to your shoe. (2 seperate pieces) Then, you just go run or walk. The little gadget will tell you your pace, how far you went, how much calories you've spent.

The best of it all is that at the end of your workout, you get a message from Lance Armstrong if you did good. Something like; "This is Lance Armastrong, congratulation, this was your longest workout yet!"

And you know what... I'm addicted to it. One day I didn't get any messages at all and I was seriously dissappointed. It made me work harder the next time around.

Now, I have to have that little message at the end of my workout.

Talk to me Lance, talk to me. :)

Beau Dommage

Vingt-trois décembre, Joyeux Noël, Monsieur Côté
Salut ti-cul, on se r'verra, le sept janvier...

That won't mean much to you non-Quebec readers. It's a famous song from a folk group called Beau Dommage.
Translated it says:

December 23, Merry Christmas Mister Côté
See ya kiddo, on January 7

So what's the point of it all you ask...
My house hunting hasn't been fruitful. I don't think I'll be getting one this year. And you guessed it, my agent is called M. Côté. I suppose I'll see him January 7.

Roma me amore

Every now and then I get the weird job offer, either in my email or by phone. I have a very valuable job according to my friend Walter. He’s always telling me I should become a consultant and earn a ton more money than I do now. Not that I’m doing bad.

Today's job offer was for Rome, Italy, thru an English company based in Wales. Told you it was weird.

As if I'd go there.
I mean yes I would, but realistically I won't.

Not sure I want to be the guy who unbuttons his silk shirt to show his hairy chest, that says “Ciao Bella” to every women in the city, that drinks espresso and eats biscotti for breakfast, that drives a Ferrari and spends his weekend on the Mediterranean... HEY. Wait a minute, that sounds pretty good.

Maybe I should give this a bit more thought.

La dolce vita in Rome... I think i could pull that off.

: P

Time goes by so quickly...

It's been 2 months since I started to really look at the housing market. And I can only report that after 25 houses... still nothing.

Yes there was this house I really liked, which provided a wow factor, but it was close, way too close to a boulevard and as everybody has been telling me: Location, location, location. So, I had to say goodye to that one and move foward.

25 houses and only one wow. Another 2 ok, that could have probably do the trick. But if I'm going to be spending a huge amount of money on a house, ok won't cut it. It just won't.

So last blitz of visits this week. If by Saturday I haven't found anything, I'll wait another year until I start shopping again.

Wish me luck.

Nightmare on 64th Avenue

As said in my previous blogpost i have a hard time sleeping. Now I'm starting to have nightmares too.

Last one in line: I was chased by zombies. Not only zombies, but smart and organized zombies. Zombies driving big green army trucks equiped with huge tracking lights. And all of them dead Remax agents.

No connection to my stress of buying a house at all... NOT!

Today's 3 songs
Our house - Madness
Nightmare on my street - DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince
Where the streets have no name - U2

I wanna buy a house on Vermont, please...

I can't sleep. I knew it would happen. I didn't know it would be this bad. I must have slept about 20 hours in the last 4 days.

I said it before, buying a house will be a nightmare for me. It is. Interested rates, cash down, visiting. They're all ghosts in my very own Christmas Carol, where i feel like an awful Scrooge and a poor Timmy, for thinking that houses are over priced and plain ugly.

I've started visiting houses last Saturday and oh my god... I seriously have to ask what are some people thinking when they renovate or build houses! In-wall stove in the hallway. Fireplace in the main entrance. Wood paneling everywhere, including the ceiling. Stucco ceilings with stalactites size protrusions where you could impale enemies. Exteriors made of 4 different materials. Rooms only accessible thru the bathroom. Fake fireplaces. Countertops made of wood that is suppose to go on the floor. And flowered wall paper galore like wrapping your house from inside out. Ugly, Ugly, Uglier.

STOP!

I know the perfect house doesn’t exist. I would have to build it. But does that mean that I should just go for anything and not care?


I almost wish the Ninja Squirrels would come back to haunt me... They were easier to deal with.

Any more doubt?

A letter signed, in 2002, by Prime Minister of Canada Stephen Harper started circulating yesterday. It says something like this:

"Kyoto is essentially a socialist scheme to suck money out of wealth-producing nations"

But now that he's in power, now that he's Prime Minister, now that he has seen that Canadian are concerned about the environment and pollution, he wants us to believe that he's now pro environment. He wants us to believe that he's a tall three in the fight for a greener tomorrow, when in fact he's just a little Bush...

New year, New title, new logo

Happy new year to you all.

I will try to get my Survivor game going this year. So as a teaser to my future players here it is:

Survivor - Jade's gold
(just to get your imagination going a little)

Polar Bear Club

Outside temperature: 6 Celcius (44 F)
Vapor Sauna temperature: 1 billion Celcius
River temperature: 0 Celcius (32 F)

Having your private shriveled to oblivion... Not so priceless.

First and foremost: I want to reassure you. I'm back to normal.

Second: Yep it's really me in the cold, very cold, river. Noticed the snow beside me?

Everyday surviving (out of your car)

I was reading articles about survival kit you should have in your car, and stumbled on this one. Here's what the expert was saying you should always have in your survival kit.

ER Bar Emergency Rations, Water Purification Tablets, First Aid Kit, Waterproof Matches and an Outdoor Lighter, Survival Knife and Small Hatchet, Swiss Army Knife, Emergency Blanket, Plastic Rain Poncho, Flashlight, Glow sticks, Pen and Paper, Whistle, Compass, Wristwatch, Hand Mirror, Roll of Duct Tape, Pair of Gloves, Small Fishing Kit, Battery Cell Phone Charger, Portable GPS, Book: "How to Stay Alive in the Woods".

Erm... 2 knives, phone charger, a GPS and a fishing kit?????

Now, my initial reaction was: Is this guy really talking about a survival kit or creating a mini Holiday Inn in your car? Seriously.

You would have to be stranded for more than just a few days to use all that stuff. If you pack that much, it's because you are going way out of the most traveled roads. Yeah you might need that stuff. But that's called backpacking and it's called going on a trip. Not Survival. And the first rule of going on a trip outside the most traveled roads is to tell relatives or friends where you are going and when you are expected back/to report in.

"How to Stay Alive in the Woods"???

If you're in trouble, on a road and you have access to your car, why would you want to venture out in the woods?
- "Lets see, I have a car I can use as a shelter, on a road, probably visible from the air, but I think I'm gonna go venture out in the wood to try to find a way out. Yeah, that makes sense!"

People, you want to make it easier for emergency crews to find you, not harder.

You can travel about half a mile in 1 hour in the bush/forest, while in good shape. How far do you expect to go anyway? If you absolutely need to leave your car behind, stick to the roads.

Oh and a phone charger??? If you can use your cell phone, you’re close enough to a tower. If the batteries run out in your phone and you need rescue, destroy the electronics in the tower. (easier said than done. but that's another story) Believe me, the phone company will show up quickly enough to rescue your ass.

As a Survivor guy once said; better be judged by 12 than carried by 6.

NOW: If you need that survivor kit on a road/highway, there is one huge problem with the part of the world you're stuck in... (Think war, nuclear explosion, Bible/Egyptian style plague or California going to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean! Fishing and hunting out of your car is the least of your worries.)

Sorry dude, the movie Red Dawn wasn't for real...

We should all have a survival kit in our cars, but keep the hatchet, fishing gear and GPS for backpacking. And use common sense.

- A compass without a map is just a device pointing north...

Cachez ce sein que je ne saurais voir...

As reported in this news (in French) , the Hassidic Jews community of Montreal asked the YMCA of Outremont to replace their windows with opaque ones so that their kids wouldn't see naked women training inside. The worst part of it is that, the YMCA did. Why you asked? Rabbi Asher Weider says it goes against the Jewish tradition.

So f*ck*ng what... Seriously.

Now, here you have a minority of people imposing their religious beliefs. They are restricting women to have access to a gym where a little bit of sunlight can enter in while they exercise. Since when is that ok? What do they do when they meet a female jogger on the sidewalk in the middle of summer? Really...

I propose to have the women of that YMCA to go run, next summer, in the streets of Outremont, everyday at any hour of the day. Let them know how it feels to not be able to look outside. Ok, that is mean, I know. But so is asking to have opaque windows at the local YMCA because of religious beliefs.

It's true, I don't understand people (Jews, Christians or Muslims) who are so focused on their own beliefs that they have to impose it to others. I know people from the aforementioned groups who are able to distinguish between what is personal and what is public. Why can't these guys? I don't understand. I just don't.

I swear I'm ready to start my own religion and start making outrageous demands too.

Because once you start giving in to stupidity, you become stupid yourself.

Learn, Learn, Learn...

I've spent 3 of the last 5 weeks at the SAP training facility in Montreal, learning Business Warehouse (SAP BW).

It is hard to believe how much I have learned in these courses. The documentation alone is 3 binders thick totalling over 2000 pages of information.

Information I will have to know almost by heart if I want to pass my BW certification.

And I still have 2 more weeks of courses to go. Ouch.

My brain is hurting already.

When doves cry...

My friend sent me this link... I don't know if it real or not.

What does one add after that?

Baby Jesus is crying, I'm sure... (Heavy sarcasm)

Peter, moi?

I know it's been forever. Don't remind me people. I just wasn't inspired lately. It will come back eventually. Don't dispair.

In the mean while... Who would I be if I was a Disney character? Like I couldn't see the result coming from a mile away... :P

You scored as Peter Pan. Your alter ego is Peter Pan. You are a child at heart. Anything you believe is possible, and you never want to grow up. Peter Pan 88% Goofy 88% Pinocchio 81% Donald Duck 56% Cinderella 56% Ariel 50% The Beast 44% Sleeping Beauty 44% Cruella De Ville 38% Snow White 38% Which Disney Character is your Alter Ego? created with QuizFarm.com

Nouvelle-France

No, no. Don't worry, I won't be writing something on the movie Nouvelle-France with the, O too omni-present Celine Dion's songs. God, I'm not that mean.

During my week off, I went for a day to Quebec city at Les Fetes de la Nouvelle France. The festival has been around for 10 years and I had never been there. I have to admit, I'm usually not too crazy about that type of festival. I find them usually cheap and not really well done.

So, I was pleasently surprised with this one. I think it's mainly because of 2 things.
1- Old Quebec city is perfect to hold this particular festival. Nowhere else in the province of Quebec, hell even Canada, could you find such perfect backdrop for the festival. From Chateau Frontenac to the cobble stoned streets and old buildings of the old city, it's just perfect.

And 2- People really get into it. Lots of people dress up in costumes, not always time accurate, but in still in the spirit of New France of the mid 18 century. You lose the distinction of where the people actually working for the festival and the guests of the festival begins and ends.

Here's a few pics of it.

Wrong you say?

It would seem that I was indeed wrong.

At first so many people seemed interested in the idea that I figured I could do 2 weekends...
Then a lot of people dropped and didn't want to participate altogether for different reasons.

The result. I'm left with 7 people who actually want to be in my Survivor weekend, in its current format.

7 friends, I thank for wanting to come with me on this crazy idea of having our very own Survivor game. I can only apologize to them for cancelling, or postponing at best, the whole thing.

At this point I can only stop fighting for it. One has to know when to step away from a losing battle.

DE GUICHE : Avez-vous lu 'Don Quichot'?
CYRANO : Je l'ai lu. Et me découvre au nom de cet hurluberlu.
DE GUICHE : Veuillez donc méditer alors. . .
UN PORTEUR : (paraissant au fond) Voici la chaise.
DE GUICHE : Sur le chapitre des moulins!
CYRANO : Chapitre treize.
DE GUICHE : Car, lorsqu'on les attaque, il arrive souvent. . .
CYRANO : J'attaque donc des gens qui tournent a tout vent?
DE GUICHE : Qu'un moulinet de leurs grands bras charges de toiles Vous lance dans la boue!
CYRANO : Ou bien dans les etoiles!
Cyrano de Bergerac - Edmond Rostand

I guess De Guiche was right on this one.

Get set. Ready. Survive...

My very own version on Survivor is coming up. July 29 and 30, the weekend of my birthday. I'm excited as hell. And sad as well.

One:
I have to build a few props, set the stage and I'll be ready to recieve my very first bunch of survivor-friends for a weekend of games and fun.

Two:
Yeah, I'm excited as hell. I've spent the last 6 month thinking about it everyday, to find games and ideas for my friends to have a weekend of adventure and fun. I would love to have something like this prepared for me, that's why I do it for my friends. I'm offering them my time, my energy, my imagination so they can have fun. I've always been told that the best gifts were things you made yourself and that you spend time making, that came out of nowhere. That Survivor weekend sure does qualify as one.
Of course it is a gift to me as well, but I can't play alone. In fact, I can't play period, because I don't know anyone who'd be crazy enough to pull something like this. So I'm totally doing it for my friends.

Three:
Even tho, I'll have enough people to play that weekend, (I need 12 to 15 people) some of my oldest friends didn't even bother answering the emails I've sent them, asking if they'd be interested in participating. Not even a: "Sorry man, I'm busy that weekend" or a "That's the dumbest idea ever, I don't want to play". Some friends did, and I respect that. I can conceive that it's just not for everyone. That life is not the same when you have kids or projects going on. That's understandable.
But just plain nothing, no answer? That sucks, big time. Am I hurt? Yeah I am. No matter if I'm telling myself that some people in my gang don't understand the amount of time it takes to organize something like this. That some may see this as something trivial they should not put much thought on. Not answering is just plain rude.

Tan: As in tangent... I always thought that my most precious thing in life were my family and my friends. Like Roman would say: "F² is Life" meaning life is made up of friends and family, the big things in life that matter.

If some of my F2's don't bother with me. What does it say about me?

I know, I'm not the person who calls all the time, that visit, that invite. But when I do, I mean it. With all my heart and all I have. No hold back. I'm a "you need a shirt? Take mine" kind of guy.

I suppose that somewhere inside, I wish there were more people like me. I kept people close to me that were like that. Maybe I changed. Maybe they changed. Maybe I was wrong about them...

I almost hope I'm just wrong.

Where's my pride? Where's my self-esteem?
Does it show in the drinks I've bought?
I don't hide every time I'm seen, but I try not to get caught
Make excuses for behaviour
Can my illness be my saviour?
Hid my heart while you still gave yours
THIS IS WHERE IT ENDS, BARENAKED LADIES

Temptation...

As you know my motorcycle was stolen about 3 weeks ago. It seems like forever at this point. Yeah I was lucky; it rained for about 20 of those 21 days. Still I miss my bike. It was my birthday gift to myself for my big 35. I had ordered it to be delivered on my birthday. It truly was a gift to me, from me.

Me 1: Wow, how did you know that's what I wanted!
Me 2: I just knew...

With the little chance there is of the police to actually find my bike, I started looking for a new one. What a mistake that was...

You see, when I bought my first bike, I was reasonable, I didn't go for the big bike, the most expensive one or the super sport type. I bought my SV650 fully knowing that, at best it would become a second bike. Maybe a bike I could give my eventual girlfriend, if she was so inclined to ride with me, on her own motorcycle.

The bike my heart truly desired was:

THE FIREBOLT!

(Yeah, just like Harry Potter's flying broom.)

Back then I thought; "Damn that bike is sexy." Just like a girl from a magazine, she tempted me.
But then there's temptation, and there's doing the deed. Bad, bad, bad Eric.

Harley-Davidson Montreal had an event at their store, last Saturday. You could come and register to try out one of their 25 bikes they had there. Most of them big Harley's, but also a few Buell.
I have only 3 words for the whole experience. OH MY GOD!

The bike is better in reality than it ever was in my dreams. I was in the 3rd wave of rides for the day. I got on the bike about 5 minutes before the ride started, just to get comfortable on it, to know where everything was and to adjust to a style of riding a little different than what I'm used to. Then I started the beast...

I've never ridden a Harley, Just heard them past by. They have this deep sexy sound that is somewhat particular to them. That is just what this sport bike sounded like when I started it; a deep vroom that reverberated in my chest. Amazing! And I wasn't riding yet.

I shifted gears and let go of the clutch. I had done 100 feet that the engine was humming a nice smooth sound, like a big cat purring. The beast was happy and so was I. This is what He-Man must have felt like on his big tiger, on Master of the Universe. :P

Right away I was comfortable riding it.

Coming back from the ride, I left the store right away. Had I stayed, I would have bought one on the spot. This is the bad thing with temptations, when you give into them, there's no turning back. The people at Harley-Davidson saw the smile on my face after the ride. They know I'll be back sooner or later. Probably sooner than later...

We've got these chains, hang 'round our necks,
people want to strangle us with them before we take our first breath.
Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same when temptation calls ...
- What a good boy, Barenaked Ladies

Crapedy-crap-crap

Yeah you read correctly. Crapedy-Crap-Crap, as in Crapedy Crap Crap they stole my bike.

My motorcycle was stolen last night. It's a beautiful day today and I was planning to ride to work. I opened the door and there it was not. I felt shocked not to find my bike where it's suppose to be. A bit like Adam, from the Mythbuster, when he fires the chicken gun with a frozen chicken at the glass pane.

So I did the police report and called the insurance company. I either have to wait for:
a) the police to find my bike. (unlikely at best)
b) wait 30 days and have the insurer definitely declared my bike stolen. Then I have to shop for a new one or forget about biking all together... (Great!)

So either way, I'll be missing some good summer riding...

Crapedy Crap Crap. *SIGH*

and 3 more

3 more... another 22 pounds to go.

The good thing is that I'm building muscle, so I know I have lost more fat that just the 6 pounds I've lost up to now. I'm rebuilding my legs' muscles and it feels really good.

I'm back

I'm back.

I know, I know, it's been a while since I wrote anything. I'm guilty. Mea culpa.
But I do have good reasons. I mean I got a little case of the "end of winter blues". I also got the flu. No, not a cold but the actual flu. Anti-biotics and chest x-rays later I'm better. Mind you that has been going for the last 4 weeks almost.

So, I didn't have much to report. But spring time is back around the corner, altho you wouldn't know it by looking outside, 'cause it's freaking snowing! Last Friday it went up to 21 Celsius (74 F) and now it must be about 0 degrees (32 F). That's Quebec weather for you.

So I got the motorcycle out. The birds are coming back from their winter migration down south. And it looks like the Montreal Canadiens will make the playoffs.

Ah Spring, brings a smile back to my face.

PS: And if you are wondering what is going on with the Atomic Ninja Squirrels from LaSalle, well I haven't seen any of them in about 2 months. Right around the last Federal Election time. Now, don't come and tell me they weren't working for the government...

2 more

2 more pounds gone... 25 to go.

Survivor!

For a long time I've been wanting to organize a Survivor weekend for my friends. I didn't really know the form the game would be taking or how I would do it, until earlier this month, when I had an idea...

Let them decide what the game will look like. So I created 2 yahoo groups and created a bunch of polls, so my friends and family will be able to go to and let me know what kind of game they want. I think it's the best way to go at it.

I already have ideas for at least a dozen challenges. And more ideas are popping in my head every day. Some are just silly, other will be totally up to par with what you would see on TV.

I'm sure it will be a lot of fun. I can't wait for summer to be finally here...

Windy, you say?

To say that it was windy last Friday is an understatement.
Walking back to my car from work, my tears froze before they could fall down. I'm not even kidding. It was that windy and cold.

So windy in fact that it cause a train to derail over the St-Laurent river.


3 songs...
Train Wreck - Sarah McLachlan
Zoo Station - U2
Calling All Angels - Train

If everything starts

If everything starts with a first and that this first is usually the hardest one, then I'm glad I lost my first pound. 27 more to go.

A.S.L Part 6... unexpected allies

While preparing my breakfast Saturday, I was looking outside, hoping to catch the little bastards in the act again. (*)

2 of the Atomic squirrels were about to vandalize the garbage cans of my neighbor when something totally unexpected happened. A grey squirrel ran up to them, making the black ninja squirrels run away.

This new behavior made me think:

1- Is there a secret war going on between the black and grey squirrels?

2- Can I befriend the grey squirrels to make them work for me, making them powerful allies?

3- Where does one learn how to speak squirrelian? How does one say hello besides twitching one's mustache? Should I be growing a mustache?

4- What kind of powers do grey squirrels have to scare off 2 black atomic ninja squirrels?

(*) See A.S.L Part 1 thru 5

Good vs Not So Good

Good: I started going back to the gym this week. Last Saturday I stopped by the gym to renew my membership. Oh My God, it feels sooooooo good. Finally getting back on the machines and whipping my butt in shape. I had forgotten hwo good that was.

Not So Good: I've been really bad in the last 6 months. I now have to lose 28 pounds. Ouch! That will hurt.

A.S.L. Part 5 Caught!

I caught the little rats... in the act. 30 seconds after putting my garbage in the can that they were on it like there was no tomorrow.

At least it gave me the opportunity to observe them in their "natural" habitat and, now, I can tell you about their "Modus Operandi".

Observations:
1- The guys work in pairs. One watch around while the other loot the cans. Smart, very smart! TOO FREAKING SMART!
2- They are not scared of human beings. They could obvisouly see me thru the window of the door while I was taking the picture. They stopped and took the pose for the picture... taunting me: "Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries!" OMG! The ultimate insult coming from a squirrel.


Special powers:
1 - I tried scaring them away. They just fled, crawling sideways at lightning speed, on the wall. Spiderman style...



I have to find a way to stop them. But how do you stop such an organized force, so well equipped, trained and with such powers!!!

A.S.L. part 4

They hate me. I swear they hate me. Who you're asking?

The Atomic Ninja Squirrels from LaSalle, of course.

You see, while shoveling the snow, and helping my neighbors, after the big storm, 2 weeks ago, I was talking with them. My neighbors, I mean. Just babbling about the weather and the upcoming holidays. Then it hit me, maybe they had problems with the Atomic Ninja Squirrels too. So I asked them...

ME: "Erm, I know this is going to sound weird but... Do you guys have problems with the squirrels? Like they are eating your garbage can's lids?"

THEY DID! Woohoo, I wasn't alone with this problem then. I was feeling much better that I wasn't the target of the ASL syndicate, but that it was a neighborhood problem. That's when my landlady told me.

Landlady: "Put tabasco on the lid. They will never touch your garbage can again."

I was thinking: Wow good idea. Non leathal and it will make them go away!

WRONG!

The little buggers keep eating at the lid AND started on the can itself! My god, they love tabasco!!! Are those squirrels from down south or Mexican? I've put some more tabasco on it just in case they decide to come back, maybe i hadn't put enough in the first place.

ANYWAY!

You'd think they would have enough of chewing my garbage can, but now they started eating my BBQ handle... I mean: WTF! Do I have to Tabasco my whole house? Maybe I should just offer the rest of my stuff I leave outside in a giant tortilla wrap. They're killing me, they are.

And this morning, just to prove to you that I'm not hallucinating all of this, I caught them on "film"... They are sneaky, and as you can see, the last one has night vision goggles. I'm doomed!

Mon pays, ce n'est pas un pays, c'est l'hivers...

You can't really translate that title, but litterally it says: "My country is not a country, it's winter"

42 cm (17 in) of the white stuff came down on Montreal in less than 24 hours. Now, that's a snowfall!

A.S.L. Part 3

The Atomic Ninja Squirrels are back. And I have physical evidence of it... You'd think that at -20 degrees Celcius they would decide to hibernate or something, but NOOOOO.

Now, not only do they seem content of stealing my garbage, they're using my BBQ to cook it!

This is where I draw the line, bastards! I'll get you... Oh yes, I'll get you.

Mon beau sapin, roi des forets...

I've put up my Christmas tree last weekend. As usual I got it at Ikea. (Yes it's a real tree and no it didn't come with an Allen Key) And as usual I kept it simple; White little lights on green wires, mat and glossy silver ornaments and some white origami snowflakes.

I think simple is good.

This time of the year, you'll be solicited to give money or food and clothes to food banks and other organizations that help the less fortunate of us. Something else you could give is time. Phone a friend you haven't called in a while. Invite family to play board games. Smile to people on the street. Open doors to strangers at the shopping mall.

To me, that's Xmas.

A.S.L. part 2

They did it. Those Atomic Ninja Squirrels got inside my garbage can by eating away at the lid.

What else can I say... Oh I know, I'll use the words of Tim the Enchanter from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.




TIM: He's got huge, sharp-- he can leap about-- look at the bones!

Vertigo

My ears are still ringing. I can hardly speak, my throat hurts. My legs are burning. That's Vertigo for you. U2 style. Of course I'm talking about the show U2 gave last night at the Bell Center in Montreal.

You could see the guys really having a good time on stage. They were happy to be there. The very first song you could see Larry almost giggling. The guy never smiles, to see him like that was special. At one point you could see them exchange looks and smiles that seemed to say: "Can you believe this? Amazing!" It shows that those guys love playing in Montreal. In 2001, Bono had said during the show: "The world needs more Canada." This time he went a step further. "Not only does the world need more Canada", he said, "Canada needs more Montreal."

Little fact about U2 and Montreal: Per capita outside Ireland, Montreal is the place they sell the most albums and tickets.

Well it was amazing. It was a great evening, with good people. Thank you guys.

Wanna listen to what the evening was like, not that you'll feel the voices of 20,000 people singing with you but... Here it is

-City of Blinding Lights
-Vertigo
-Elevation
-Electric Co./Clouds/ See Me, Feel Me
-I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For/ The Promised Land
-Beautiful Day/ Sgt Peppers/ Blackbird
-Miracle Drug
-Sometimes You Can't Make It on Your Own
-Love and Peace or Else
-Sunday Bloody Sunday/ Get Up Stand Up
-Bullet the Blue Sky/ When Johnny Comes Marching Home/ These Are The Hands That Built America
-Miss Sarajevo
-Pride (In The Name of Love)
-Where The Streets Have No Name
-One

-Until The End Of The World
-Mysterious Ways
-With Or Without You
-Love Will Tear Us Appart (with Arcade Fire)

-All Because of You
-Yahweh
-40

A.S.L.

Atomic Squirrels from LaSalle...

The squirrels around my house are nuts, crazy and atomic. I'm convinced that they are the product of some wierd branch of the government and have been released in my area as an experiment, ON ME.

Beside the fact that the little rodents can climb trees faster than the speed of light and run on electrical wires like they are part of a Cirque Du Soleil number. (Where is their training facility???) The little monsters are eating my garbage can. Yes, you read correctly. Not my garbage, but the big green plastic thing you put trash in before the city come to collect it. There's now big holes in my can, here's the proof...


So what the hell do those bionical teeth on legs need from MY garbage can that they can't get from my neighbor's can?

I don't throw away full pizza, gold or electronic parts. What are they trying to tell me?

"Damn you government branch of survaillance by ninja squirrels... damn you!"

Yep, first snowfall of the season...

The puzzle post

I'm all over the place this morning, and in pieces. Well, my head is definitely not on my shoulders. Just like a puzzle. (*) (**)

* Be warned that you'll probably have to assemble this blog post yourself.
** Instruction in Swedish, but here's an Allen key. Woohoo.

First: Insert piece A1 into piece Z458 Delta, twist.
From the moment I woke up this morning, I felt disoriented. Nothing seemed to fall in the right place. I was doing things out of order. I was sure I had inhaled fumes. Only problem is that it would have been invisible fumes from an unknown source. My bedroom was too warm. My car keys were in the wrong place. The water in the shower was not at the right temperature. I was listening quite hard for the theme song of The Twilight Zone because I could not believe this was reality.

Second: Take sub-assembly 3.41 sub-section epsilon-omega-12 and screw.
Some sense of it all came after getting to work... (How I got to work fully dressed and without a scratch is still a mystery as I write this) My friend told me he hadn't slept too well because the wind woke him up at 3:00 am. That was piece i was missing. I had woken up at around 3:00 am too because of the wind. Well not really the wind, more like the wind knocking the chairs on my balcony and making an awful lot of noise. God, my neighbors must like me today.

Third: Discard protective Styrofoam corners from burgundy panel. Swing lever. Open.
Finally I had the answer. The noise lasted only a fraction of a second but it was enough to make me open my eyes and wake a part of my brain, to try to find out what the noise was. Leaving the other part to continue sleeping. Resulting in a brain that is not on the same level of awareness all over. I went back to sleep but I'm sure my brain kept trying to figure out what the noise was.

That's what I'm telling myself to make some sense of my day. And that brings me to something my friend and I discussed: Why do some people tell themselves lies to be able to go thru life? I have to warn you, that post will have a high content of, and contempt for, ladybugs, energy rocks and unicorns. But that's for another post.

Like my brother would write: Stay tuned...

Ok the 3 songs...
Crazy - Icehouse
Crazy - Aerosmith
You're crazy - Guns N' Roses